to L.
Daylight’s broken in the shreds of despair,
drops of life are scatterbrained everywhere,
I spend my hours waking, trying not to go mad.
“I hate you,” was the last conversation we had.
For a while there you could’ve been my Susie Q,
but you… I smashed myself onto the ground.
Existence coalesced into shallow streams erring around,
still I find myself admitting: part of me is left for you.
Trying to fix a little broken heart with words so powerless,
trying to mend a hope that’s always seemed so tireless.
There was something of a feeling and none at all
when I read your words, “I hate you and not, withal.”
For a while there you could’ve been my Susie Q,
but you… I smashed myself onto the ground.
Existence coalesced into shallow streams erring around,
still I find myself admitting: part of me is left for you.
That glimmer in your eyes, your wonderful smile,
and your lovely randomness – they were a gift for a while
that my heart turned into a curse. Now you melted away
like the dancing stars on that August day,
and I see everyone wearing red as people in winter do,
that colour you hate – I see a friendship I let die away.
Now I know how futile hope was in its own addicting way,
and I come to realize, the friend in me will always love you.