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A lake. It could have been any, but all you longed for was a lake. Perhaps because lakes have always been shining with tranquility, perhaps because as a child you passed so many holidays at lakes, perhaps because any other place you could think of didn’t give you a feeling of comfort.

You had enough of your life, so you simply bought a ticket out. A flight to Canada. The country you always wanted to live in. Going to the Sun. That’s the fitting name of the road you followed to get here. Now you are standing here, mountains around you on three sides, a forest behind you, sand underneath you, blue sky above you, clear water in front of you. There’s a small island a few hundred meters away. You wonder whether you would feel even more liberated there. But then again, you have no boat and swimming there does not seem worth it after all.

Silence. Restfulness. Finally you can draw breath, let your thoughts breathe and your heart calm down. You smell the scent of the sea that reminisces you of your childhood. A feeling of peacefulness streams through your body. At last, you begin to forget the anger, the stress and everything that has been bugging you for so long. That all seems to be part of a different life. You are here, alone, but for the first time in years, you have a feeling of wholeness, about which you wondered so long if it existed at all.

You are neither beset with joy nor any other feeling, positive or negative. You are quiescent, a state so particular that at first, you aren’t even able to name it. Quiescence however does never last and you almost fall into a feeling of sadness. But this lake, this scenery somehow gives you the strength not to give into melancholy or nostalgia that have been haunting you in your old life. No, you wouldn’t let them take away this beautiful moment. This trice is yours alone, an eternity that allows you to escape from the boundaries your old life imposed on you.

You haven’t brought anything with you. You turn around and look at the forest. You sit down and admire this lake with the small island. You lie down and look up to the sky. Yes, this is your secret retreat. And you will never leave it again. Ever.

St Mary Lake, Canada
St Mary Lake / Canada – picture taken by Jon Sullivan

[song of the moment: Breathe me (Six Feet Under Series Finale Version) by Sia]

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