You go out with a friend, one evening to perhaps meet some girls. Nothing serious, just some fun with girls you’ll perchance never see again. But the whole town is empty. There are almost no people around – on a Saturday evening. So you sit around in some cafes, coincidentally meet some people you know, but finally end up again in your regular pub, where you started the evening. You get spent several vodka shots. You go to the toilet and see yourself in the mirror above the basin, and you say to yourself: “So this is me. And there outside, that’s really my life. Was this really all meant to be?”

Was it meant to be that you pass most of your time in this very pub? And why did exactly that guy who is waiting for you outside become your friend? You can’t even remember when you first met him, but still he’s the one who’s been a friend ever since and he’s the one who you wanted to have some fun with tonight.

Some talking with the bar man who’s almost an old acquaintance and another free drink. You look around the pub: this is the very place you spent weeks and months with your friends, the place linked to so many beautiful memories. It won’t remain forever. Nothing does – even the supermarket, where the girl of your dreams once bought Alete and you were stupid enough to make fun of her, having to bear your heart’s bleeding afterwards, is gone.

You decide to go home, but then drive around for some time, listening to some Fool’s Garden, Bloc Party and alike. The gas stations are all closed, so no chance to get something to eat. At 2 o’clock you’re bored. Nothing happened, that isn’t at all how the evening was supposed to end, but you can’t change it.

Finally home, all that remains are question: Is anything destined to happen? Or is destiny only a constant hustle, having no idea where it is going?

Are we trapped? It’s almost like my name was Seth. This is my life.

This is your life,
Is it everything that you dreamed
That it would be when the world was younger,
And you had everything to lose?

I really like Switchfoot.


10 responses to “Jumble”

  1. I’m also always wondering where all the people are in the evening … some places that used to be quite full on weekend nights’ are now nearly deserted!?

    Where the hell are they? All at home with their partners? Or online?

    As for destiny, I don’t believe in it. I’m rather convinced everything is random chance, with you being able to take decisions in a very confined space. That can make you feel uneasy at times. And be overwhelming.

  2. Serge

    sounds not too bad on the whole as an evening though :).
    you guys should go out in brussels some time … you even get grandmas in the last metro :P …
    i guess that is the whole luxemburgish tragedy … we miss most of the student population because we got not much of an university :) (and we still have no tram or metro to promote easy and fast movement around the city :P)

    thierry we just have to start on seth in the near future :) i still feel its a great idea :)… how about july ? after the exams ? when we got too much free time :P (maybe)

  3. Yeah but it’s not as if just one place was empty, there were almost no people anywhere, nor at the Interview, nor at the Aula (which was most surprising as normally it’s crowded), nor at Scott’s Pub, nor at the Rox (not even the regulars were there), nor at Lester’s, nor at the Art Sc?®ne (which wasn’t a great tragedy, at least we got free drinks there :)).

    I don’t know if I should believe in destiny. Everything is connected on a subatomic basis, and I tend to refuse that this has absolutely no influence on the macrocosm (which might be stupid, I don’t know…). I’m just not sure whether anything (or everything) is meant to happen. I tend to believe in something like a partial destiny, meaning that some things are just meant to happen and you can’t do anything about it, but most of the time, you can act by free will (which is a pure illusion though, there is no such thing as free will – at least that is what’s currently baffling the scientific world).

    I like Brussels, I’d love to go out there some time. But it’s a bit too far away, Trier is much closer (and there recently opened a lounge / shisha bar which looks kind of nice :)).
    Yes, we definitely have nothing which would be any way close to a university.
    I haven’t got that much time in July, I’m probably going to start work at RCM on July 3rd, going on till mid-August (though my experience tells me I’ll have to return till end of August – but I want to go on holiday sometime too). :)

  4. Serge

    you are a workaholic :P dont even try to deny it :D. and masochistic :P i think i found a pertfect character sheet for seth now haha i will just portray you, anyway i guess i will start and you will have to spellread whatever i throw together. if i remember correctly from last year your work will not be that demanding :)

  5. I’m not a workaholic (though I always get told so by the sysadmin at RCM :)), I need the money, living in the UK won’t be cheap.

    Ok, go ahead! :)

    No, it’s nothing complicated, but still I have to do it 40 hours a week.

  6. Serge

    the sysadmin is god = he is always right = you ARE a workaholic :P

    but with the not so cheap living in the uk you do have a point i must admit, though if i pass all my exams (utopic sigh) you wont escape me during weekends :P we gotta do something clever once a time :), like fotoshooting and devlopement of analogue film :)…
    anyway theres still a long way to go to reach care-free holidays :(
    oh and i do like chatting over the comments system :D!

  7. I’m a workaholic only if the work is something that makes fun, i.e. taking pictures. :) But as for everything else, I’m totally lazy. ;)

    For what concerns the weekends, I will at least escape you several times, I plan on going to Paris at least twice, to the Nature One (if the two Gilles still go), and I’d like to visit Berlin for a few days, and I’ll often be in Trier. :) But I’ll be available most weekdays after 17.30. ;) Never liked analogue film (and don’t have a working analogue camera anymore), I really prefer digital. But a fotoshooting sounds nice. :)

    I’d suggest we’d work on Seth during the easter holidays, but I have tests the first week you’re off-school and you aren’t there the second week. :-(

    Yes, it’s practical, so I won’t have to write brb every five minutes, ’cause I’m a lot afk today…

  8. Serge

    anyway i passed the best time of the afternoon on train :P
    ha you really do try everything to escape me dont you :D

    yea forget about the easter holidays there will not be much of them for me .. :P i will even take most of my courses with me to switzerland, i am really beginning to worry about the workload thats coming like a tidal wave :P

  9. I passed the best time of this Sunday at the Conservatoire listening to some Bart??k, Gluck and alike. :) Yes, I do everything to avoid you. :P

  10. […] Over the last weeks and months, which have really been a swaying to and fro between great times and worse news following bad news, I have begun realising that the people who most influenced my life are, at least for a great part, not at all the ones I thought. It’s not the girl with the pink hair slide, who might at best have served as some kind of a muse, but, inter alia, the girl who bought Alete. […]

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